When you’re meeting Japanese women, there’s often more than just the language barrier that gets in the way of your communicating. Japanese and western people have completely different communication styles, and this often turns a first encounter into a last encounter; or even worse, it leads to making a new friend and not a lover.
It’s especially important to send clear signals to a Japanese girl to tell her that you like her. You should not come on too strong – Japanese women generally don’t like the macho, aggressive type. However, you need to let her know both verbally and nonverbally that you’re interested in her and you’d like to be more than just friends.
When you’re meeting Japanese women and trying to escalate things to the next level, you will often find feel like the two of you are not on the same page. This is because of the huge cultural difference.
Nonverbal things like touching or holding hands mean different things in different cultures. You might try to touch a girl’s face as a way of escalating things so that she becomes comfortable with touching. If you remove an eyelash from a girl’s cheek or wipe a lipstick stain, it has a subconscious meaning in her mind. For a Japanese girl, there may be no meaning at all, or she may not be able to interpret what you mean. This means that you have to be clear and tell her in more direct ways that you like her or you’re interested in seeing her again.
With Japanese women, you can’t expect things to “just happen.” There are subtle cultural codes that progress things from point A to point B. With a Japanese woman, the cross-cultural communication may not be there. Just being together for a period of time and waiting for things to happen naturally may not be enough. Again, it’s not good to be aggressive with Japanese women, but you have to be a leader. You have to move things along from one point to the next. This is how it’s done in Japan, men take the lead.
Finally, there are details about women that you need to accept as givens. For example, if you meet a western woman and sparks start to fly, she will let you know somehow whether or not she has a guy, and if so, you may decide to put the brakes on early so that you don’t both waste your time. Japanese women won’t come out with it so easily. They may not reveal this kind of relevant information unless asked. You may end up spending the whole night thinking things are happening, only to find out at the end of the night that her guy has been across the room the whole time!
It’s tricky dealing with these cultural barriers, but it’s well worth it. The important thing is to understand that there are cultural differences, and to keep this fact in mind as you talk to her.