One of the main characteristics of Japanese women that sets them apart from western women is that they’re extremely shy. This is something you’ll need to deal with if you want to meet and have a relationship with Japanese women. Because of this, you have to be a bit proactive, but if you’re too aggressive you’ll scare her away.
In Japanese culture, people are really concerned about saving face. They’re also afraid of failure. Whereas in the west we tend to focus on success and how to achieve it, Japanese people focus on failure and all the things that could possibly go wrong. Not only is failure an issue, but everybody seeing you fail as well.
Even if a Japanese girl really likes you, she probably isn’t going to show it. Japanese people are shy, but Japanese women are especially shy. They’re conditioned to let the man do the driving. This goes for dating as well as what goes on in the bedroom. This is why you have to be proactive.
However, being overly aggressive will definitely drive her away, and this happens often. This presents a little challenge. You can’t be quite as assertive as you are with western women.
So, how do you go about talking to a Japanese woman? First of all, try to talk to a Japanese woman in the most natural way possible. In other words, try not to look like you’re picking her up. Make it an ordinary conversation type about something she has knowledge of or interest in so that it doesn’t seem like a ‘pick up’.
During the initial stages of talking to her, give her an out. Don’t be flirtatious, because that’s a turn-off. Always leave it open so that she can back out if she wants to. It’s really hard for Japanese women to say “no,” so don’t put her in a situation where she has to. If she feels like you’ve trapped her and you’re trying too hard, you won’t see her a second time.
The whole thing about not saying “no” is another Japanese cultural trait. Japanese women will often give out their phone number or email address, and then not answer when you call. This is because, unlike western women, they find it tough to say “no” when a guy asks. Keep this in mind and let her have a way out if she’s not interested.
You also have to pay close attention to non-verbal signs with Japanese women. On top of being shy, they won’t usually say things outright. Instead, they’ll give you subtle hints telling you to go ahead. You’ve got to really sharpen your skills at picking up non-verbal clues from women.
Japanese women get over this shyness once you get to know them. It’s just tough initially to start a conversation and open up a possible relationship. Once you’ve started seeing each other, this shyness will disappear.