In the art of meeting Japanese people, it’s a well-known fact that body language plays an important role, and that touching is part of this body language. By touching a girl playfully at first and then more meaningfully later, you’re accomplishing several things. First, you’re getting her comfortable with being physical with you. You are also escalating things in a non-verbal way to set the stage for what comes later.
Japanese women are very intuitive and body language works especially well with them. Touching is important with Japanese women because it’s often hard to read their signs. Many western guys meet Japanese women and then finally realize late in the game that she only wanted to be friends or to have a native English speaker show her around. One way to avoid this is to start early with some touching and let it proceed from there.
Touching also gives you valuable feedback about how it’s going. When the moment comes where you take her hand in yours, you can tell by how she feels whether she’s ready to proceed further or not.
However, when it comes to touching and physical contact, there are a few things you should know about how Japanese women are different. If you understand a little about the culture they are coming from, this will make it easier to read these signs and adjust her comfort level with your physical contact.
Japanese Guys Don’t Do This
In Japan, you almost never see people touching each other in public. It’s rare to see hand-holding, a guy stroking a girl’s back, or any of the other common things we see back home. PDA (public display of affection) is definitely taboo. This means two things for you. First, it’s something she may not be comfortable with. This means that you need to proceed extra carefully. Take it a little slower than you would with a western woman and watch carefully for signs telling you to go ahead.
The other thing it means is that you can really use this to your advantage. Many young Japanese men are considered “herbivores” – a term that means they’re weak, not confident and even feminine. According to surveys and blogs, the women of Japan don’t like this very much. They’d rather have a guy who shows a little more interest. So, if you can use this form of nonverbal communication, it can really work well to arouse her.
Many Japanese Women Are Inexperienced
Young Japanese women, especially those in their twenties, are often very inexperienced with relationships. This means that what you may see as her hesitation might actually just be fear at something unknown. Be extra gentle and remember that she might not have a lot of experience. If you’re her first westerner, she may have no experience at all with a guy making physical contact with her in this way. You can also minimize her fear somewhat by making it playful and friend-like until you’re sure she likes you.
Comfort Level Is Important
To Japanese people, being comfortable and emotionally ready is really important. If anything breaks through their comfort zone, they are more likely than westerners to shy away. Again, this means you should take it slow, but it also means that you should be careful not to surprise her. Make sure you know she likes you before you try anything bold.
Touching can work wonders on Japanese women, so be sure it’s something you do when building relationships with Japanese women. If you make her feel comfortable with you through physical contact, this will make things much more smooth and natural as you escalate.