Understanding Culture – Shame And How It Affects Your Relationship

It’s always amazing to me how little guys who like Japanese women know about their culture. Although moving abroad is surely a life-changing experience, Japanese women don’t fundamentally change when to go to live overseas. They are still motivated by the same things. They still have the same fears. Basically, they will still act the same way in a given situation.

There have been books written on the subject of Japanese culture, but I want to focus on one aspect of the culture that has a major effect on relationships with Japanese women – shame.

In Japanese culture, shame plays a huge part in everything. It’s about trying not to lose face. Because of this, Japanese people care deeply about what others think of them. This includes not just friends, coworkers and family members, but even total strangers. It’s hard for a westerner to understand just how deeply it matters to Japanese people what others think of them.

This means a few important things if you’re dating a Japanese woman. First of all, very few Japanese women are comfortable with public displays of affection, no matter how long they’ve lived overseas. This is just not done in Japan, and it’s something that doesn’t change easily.

While things like holding hands or putting your arm around her will probably be okay for her, anything more intimate than that is going to really bother her. Even something like a goodbye kiss is usually out of the question.

This aspect of Japanese culture might also affect your overall relationship.