You Don’t Have To Turn Japanese To Build Relationships with Japanese Women

There is nothing more laughable than seeing western guys try to act Japanese to get Japanese women. They think that their interest in anime or manga, or the fact that they like sushi, is going to get the girl. What they don’t know, is that by doing that they’re much more likely to look foolish, and that they’re breaking rule number one for meeting women – be yourself.

If you’re into Japanese pop culture, that’s fine. But if you are too into Japanese things, she’s probably going to think you’re not genuine. She’ll think you’re either a strange guy, a guy with a “thing” for Japanese women, or a total nerd. In Japanese, the word, “otaku.” describes a person that is so into comics, video games and anime that they sacrifice their total personality. In the west, we might call him a computer nerd or some other type of ‘freak’ or ‘nut’.

If you’re interest in Japan makes you look like an otaku, any Japanese woman that you meet will run the other way. This is true also if you try to “act Japanese” In Japan, lots of western guys work really hard to fit into a country that will never really accept them; while Japanese people are often impressed that you can speak the language or that you know your way around the culture a little, it really doesn’t do any good to try and go totally native. From a professional point of view, most good business opportunities for westerners in Japan involve using your unique skills and experience as a foreigner.

On the other hand, having a normal, healthy interest in her culture will help you. While Japanese women generally avoid nerdy western men who are too obsessed with Japan, they like guys who are open-minded and interested in them (which includes their culture).

For a Japanese woman who lives overseas, there is a good chance that she’s there for a reason. She probably likes the culture, the way westerners communicate, the difference in the way things are done, and so on. A western guy who is working hard to show her his Japanese side is going to be pretty uninteresting.

Here’s an example: Imagine that you are American, and you went to Japan on business. You go out and meet an interesting girl. As you start talking, she starts suddenly making every topic about America and seems to have some compulsion about turning every conversation that way. Then, for your second time you meet she wants to go to a burger place that’s a corny America-themed restaurant, and she brings along an American flag. Can you see how annoying this would be? If you’re too much of a Japan-freak, it’s going to seem like this to her, or maybe worse.